A Pity Party
A couple days ago I had a pity party. Every now and then I have like two things not go my way then I get on social media and notice how perfect someone else’s life is. Then insert whining to David about how I’m a failure, nothing is fair, and everyone is living the life I want- and that I have already pinned on Pinterest! Copycats…
Never In The Cool Club
I was never in the “cool club” in my small, country, town without any stop lights or Targets. I always had some close friends in the cool group and the majority of the other cool kids usually knew my name and would occasionally make mention of my existence. I didn’t really care that I didn’t fit their mold… except for when their coolness got them something I wanted. Like a boyfriend, or a date to a dance… 7th grade boys can be so blind. I mean I was the total package! I was the field hockey star, fastest girl in my class, and I had awesome slicked back hair that was always pulled so tight in a pony tail that it made my eyes squinty. Sexy!!
Well, transition to now, 10 years later. There are still cool kids- especially in the photography industry. And though I completely love being a unique mold, I sometimes just want to stand in their circle and laugh about our inside jokes, wear matching knuckle rings, take pictures of our latte art, and read Kinfolk together while we dream up whimsical shoots. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not mean nor are they doing anything wrong– in fact “cool kids” are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. They just seem perfect, and seem like they get every opportunity I want. So then I cry and secretly wish I had a 2×4 for my computer screen. Shortly after (or a looong time after) is usually when I realize my sin and get a crazy load of God’s grace.
Rewind Back to That Pity Party I Mentioned
The next morning David and I were reading our Bibles together and of course the passage was about Rachel and Leah. If you don’t know the story here’s the lowdown: Jacob wanted to marry Rachel but got Leah instead. Leah isn’t going to win Miss America anytime soon (she’s ugly). Jacob later marries Rachel too. Leah can have children, Rachel can’t. Leah gives Jacob a lot of kids and is constantly comparing herself to Rachel and Rachel is constantly doing the same with Leah. And in the midst of both of their sin, all you see is God’s grace and blessing.
That’s when I saw my recent struggle with constantly comparing myself to all these “A-lister cool kids” in the biz rather than being thankful for all of the wonderful things God has given me in my business. We prayed about my struggle and that God would help me be content while honing my talent for God’s glory and not my own.
God Blesses Me Despite Me
That was Sunday. Fast forward to Monday when my husband, the geek that he is, was doing some SEO stuff for my photography. He then ran some keyword searches and learned that my website had somehow gone from page 10 to page 1 for certain search keywords… Don’t ask me how. What’s my point?
All I know is that God often convicts me of sin, and then, when I feel as though I deserve nothing but punishment, He gives me blessing– He gives me His love. And it’s so overwhelming. He is literally breaking my heart by giving me what I don’t deserve! And if there is anything in this world that makes you want to love someone, it’s when they love you in spite of you. God loves His children.
Quit Comparing And Celebrate Others
So when you’re scrolling through your Instagram feed and so-and-so has posted another picture of her looking out the window of her new plane which is on its way to Great Britain to photograph Kate Middleton or going to dinner with the editor of every bridal magazine out there and has hash tagged it #mylittlelife, just smile and double tap that image. Quit comparing and start celebrating. Celebrate their success and hard work. Send them an email saying you are inspired by them and that he or she challenges you to work harder (you might just find that’s the best way to become friends). Your time is coming. God’s blessings are coming. He delights in you. And because of that it doesn’t matter if you’re ever in the “cool club.” You’re already accepted by the One who matters most and that’s really cool!
